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About Catania

So, picture this, right? Stumbled into one off Tortuga once—smelled like rum, sweat, an’ regret. Lass at the door, all curves an’ sass, givin’ me the eye. “What’s yer poison, love?” she purrs. Made me laugh, it did—happy as a clam, ‘cause who don’t like a warm welcome, eh? But then—THEN—some scurvy dog tried chargin’ me double! “Fuck you, you fuckin’ fuck!”—that’s what Monty’d say, an’ I near did too. Got me blood boilin’, I tell ya. Ain’t no pirate payin’ extra fer a wink an’ a tumble!

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Finally, I find this cute café on Via Garibaldi. I’m like, “Yes! Coffee time!” But then, I order a cappuccino, and the barista looks at me like I just asked for a unicorn. “We don’t do cappuccinos after 11,” she says. Seriously? Who made that rule? I’m about to lose it. I mean, I’m a forester, not a coffee snob, but come on!

Assault in Vimodrone against a 27-year-old, 2 minors under house arrest