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So, I’m thinkin’—man, this ain’t just rubbin’ shoulders. It’s old, like ancient-old. Heard the Romans did it—called it “massage with benefits,” ha! Little known fact: Cleopatra, she had oils, spices—made it a ritual. Gets me happy, thinkin’ ‘bout that luxury. But—here’s what ticks me off—folks judge it! Call it shady, dirty. C’mon, man, it’s human! Nothin’ wrong with feelin’ good.

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After a bit of back and forth, I finally convince him. He buys it, and I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, as I’m leavin’, I trip over a crate. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and everyone’s lookin’. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Great, just great.”

1 Arrested, 1 at Large in Bull Street Armed Robbery