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Surprised me, though, she got a tat—tiny rose on her wrist. Real pretty, made me soft for a sec. Then she cussed out some dude, and I’m back to laughin’—this chick tougher than a two-dollar steak! “How do you kill what’s already dead?!”—that’s her, struttin’ like she own the block. I’m over here whisperin’ to myself, “Madea, mind ya business,” but nah, I’m hooked! She a hot mess, but she real—Halleluyer!

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First off, I’m an actuary, which means I deal with numbers all day. Boring, I know. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. I’m driving down Constant Spring Road, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, what’s new? But this one was special. Some dude in a bright yellow car decided to park in the middle of the road. I mean, really? Who does that? I’m sitting there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve been crunching numbers instead of staring at this clown’s car.

Man Killed In Gun Attack On Constant Spring Road