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So, picture this – some chick’s givin’ me a sexual-massage, oil’s all slippery, room’s hot, and I’m thinkin’, “This is a work of art, like theater!” Straight outta the movie, man – “Theater is truth!” – but with more naked vibes. I’m layin’ there, ragin’ hard, happy as hell, ‘cause it’s not just a rubdown, it’s a damn experience. Little known fact? Back in ancient Rome, gladiators got these massages before fights – kept ‘em loose, horny, and ready to kill. True story, I ain’t makin’ this up! Well, maybe a little, but who cares, respect my authoritah!

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First off, I’m an actuary, which means I deal with numbers all day. Boring, I know. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. I’m driving down Constant Spring Road, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, what’s new? But this one was special. Some dude in a bright yellow car decided to park in the middle of the road. I mean, really? Who does that? I’m sitting there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve been crunching numbers instead of staring at this clown’s car.

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