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So, I’m out there, right? Checkin’ corners, dodgin’ creepy dudes. Did ya know, back in the day, prostitutes in Berlin had secret signals? Like, a red hanky meant “I’m free, baby!” Crazy, huh? I’m walkin’, thinkin’, man, this is like that movie – “The truth? You can’t handle it!” ‘Cept I’m handlin’ it, sorta. This one time, I see her – tight skirt, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “How you doin’?” She laughs, says, “50 bucks, Romeo.” I’m HAPPY, dude, ‘cause she’s hot, but ANGRY too – 50 bucks? For what, a wink?

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First off, I hit the road on Main St. You know, the one that’s always packed with cars and people? Yeah, that one. I’m cruising along, jamming to some tunes, when BAM! A pigeon decides to dive-bomb my windshield. Like, seriously? Who does that? I almost swerved into a lamppost. Thanks, Hayes, for the morning adrenaline rush.

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