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About Montego Bay

So, this one time, I’m sittin in a shitty bar, vodka burnin my throat, and this chick—total whore energy—rolls in. Skirt so short you’d think it’s a belt, eyes like she’s already sized up your wallet. I’m thinkin, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s got a rep—locals call her “Kopek Katya,” coz she’d screw ya for a coin back in the 90s. Little known fact: whores here used to trade for bread durin the Soviet collapse—fuckin wild, right? Starvin and still struttin.

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After what feels like an eternity, I load up the truck. I’m feeling a bit better, but then I hit traffic on 10th St. Ugh! It’s like the universe is conspiring against me. I’m stuck behind some dude who’s clearly never heard of a turn signal. I’m yelling at my windshield, “C’mon, man! We’re not in a parade!”

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