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Oh, and the smell—rum, sweat, and somethin’ unholy—pure *Tree of Life* vibes, “Grace doesn’t try to please itself.” Grace my arse, she’s pleasin’ herself to my wallet! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d wager she’s bedded half the fleet and still kicks like a mule. Personal quirk—I’m mutterin’ to meself, “Ricky, you daft twat, why’d ya bother?” Cos it’s a laugh, innit! Whores—they’re the real sailors, ridin’ waves of idiots like me. Sarcasm? Mate, she’s a walkin’ punchline— “Oh, bless ya, captain, you’re me first today!” Yeah, and I’m the bloody Pope!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts crying. Like, full-on sobbing. I’m thinking, “Oh no, what did I do?” Turns out, he just wanted to sign “mom” but couldn’t remember. My heart just broke. So, I knelt down, signed “mom” with him, and we both ended up tearing up. It was a moment, man.