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About Kyoto

Oh, honey, lemme spill the tea—erotic-massage, darlin’! Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’m all hot n bothered just thinkin’ bout it. Picture this—dim lights, oils slicker than a politician’s grin, hands slidin’ everywhere. It’s like, whoa, where’d my tension go? Poof! Gone, baby! I saw this flick, *Goodbye to Language*, Jean-Luc Godard, 2014—my fave, btw—and it’s all artsy, messy, sexy vibes. “What you see is not what you see,” he says, and damn, that fits here. You think it’s just a rubdown, but nah—it’s a freakin’ trip!

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I grabbed a couple, and dude, they were fresh! Like, I could taste the ocean in ‘em. But then, I spilled my drink all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I was like, “Awesome, now I look like a walking disaster.”

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