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But here’s the rub, mate—some o’ these parlors? Dodgy as a two-faced coin! Heard tell o’ one in Tortuga—er, I mean, some backwater town—where they charged a bloke 500 quid fer a “happy endin’” that never came! Left him ragin’ like Bane smashin’ skulls. Pissed me off, that did—don’t bamboozle a pirate, savvy? I’d keelhaul ‘em meself fer less! Little-known fact, tho—back in ancient Rome, them posh senators got erotic rubs regular-like, callin’ it “luxury o’ the gods.” History’s filthy, arrgh!

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But then, I saw this kid trying to fish. He was struggling, like, really struggling. I couldn’t help but laugh. He was using a stick and some string. No bait! I walked over and gave him a few tips. He caught a tiny fish, and his face lit up like it was a trophy. Made my day, honestly.

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