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Me likes it, tho—makes me happy, yesss. Tense shoulders? Gone! Slippery hands fixin’ me up, better than fishies from the river. But ooooh, gets me mad too—stupid hobbits payin’ too much! $150 for an hour? Robbery, filthy robbery! “We’re punished for our sins,” Haneke whispers in me head—payin’ for naughty thoughts, eh? Should be $50, tops—me precious budget says so!

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But then, outta nowhere, it started rainin’. Like, heavy rain. I’m talkin’ monsoon level. I dashed for cover, but ended up in this tiny ramen shop on 4-chome. Best decision ever! The ramen was steamin’ hot and so good, I almost cried. I mean, who knew a rainy day could turn into a feast?

Reinvestigation report on death of bullied Hokkaido girl submitted