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About Osaka

Right, so I’m cruisin’—not space, mind ya, but dodgy backstreets. Neon lights flashin’, smells like cheap booze and regret. This lass, she’s standin’ there, all sass, fishnets ripped—like she’s a groupie waitin’ for Zeppelin to roll thru. I’m like, “Oi, love, you got that stardust vibe!” She laughs, probs thinkin’ I’m bonkers, but I’m seein’ it—cosmic wisdom, innit? Prostitutes been round since forever—fact is, ancient Babylon had temple prossies, sacred as priests! Wild, eh?

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So, I keep walking, and I hit up the Ashibetsu River. It’s beautiful, like postcard material. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. The water’s flowing, birds are chirping, and I’m thinking, “Life’s not so bad.” But then, outta nowhere, this old guy starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the history of Ashibetsu, how it used to be a farming town. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna chill.”

Bear attacks in Japan hit record high