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Anyways, lemme tell ya—lookin’ for a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a pizza. Back in Springfield, I’d be clueless, but here’s the deal: they’re on apps, sites, even X posts! Some use fake pics—catfish city! One time, I read this wild story—dude paid 200 “roses” and got a granny! Swear, I was dyin’—homerun of a scam! “I don’t think we’re in Harvard anymore!”—ha, movie line fits!

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Then I decide to grab some lunch at this little ramen joint on Chuo-dori. Best ramen ever! I’m slurping away, and this old guy next to me starts chatting. He’s telling me about how Bibai used to have a ton of festivals. I’m like, “Dude, I’m all about that festival life!” But then he goes on about how they used to have a coal festival. I’m thinking, “Coal? Really? That’s the best you got?”

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