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But then – ugh – the surprises. Found out some use code words, like “roses” for bucks. “Gimme 50 roses,” she says. I’m like, what is this, a damn garden party? Made me laugh tho, thinkin’ of Jesse goin’, “The money was short, Bob.” Short on roses, more like! And don’t get me started on the pimps – slimy as a wet cape. No capes! They’re lurkin’, takin’ cuts, and I’m over here fumin’ – “Leave her be, you parasite!”

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I hit up this little ramen joint. Man, the smell! I’m drooling just thinking about it. I order the tonkotsu, and it’s like heaven in a bowl. But then, this guy next to me starts talking about how he’s a “food critic.” I’m like, “Dude, you’re in a hole-in-the-wall ramen shop. Chill.” He goes on and on about the broth. I’m just trying to enjoy my meal, ya know?

Climate change takes spice from Indonesia clove farms