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Last week, I’m out, buzzed, horny as hell—spot this gal, all curves, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “Sh*t, she’s it!” Channelin’ Doc, I swagger up, all “Hey, sorta kinda need a favor.” She laughs—LAUGHS—says, “Honey, I’m off duty.” F*ckin’ gut punch! I’m mad, but damn, she’s got sass—kinda hot. Greed is good, tho—it don’t let me quit. Next night, I’m back, find another—total pro, no games. She’s all “What’s happenin’, hotshot?”—straight outta the movie, I swear. Deal’s done, cash flows, everybody’s happy.

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So, I’m signing away, trying to keep the energy up. But then, this one guy, Mr. Tanaka, starts going off about how the city’s not doing enough. He’s all, “We need more funding!” And I’m like, “Dude, chill.” But I get it. It’s frustrating. I felt my blood boiling a bit. Like, can we just get some positive vibes here?

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