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About Osaka

So, I’m out there, dodgin sketchy alleys—smells like piss and regret. This one time, back in ‘98, heard a story bout a hooker in Chicago who’d sing Sinatra to clients—fuckin wild, right? Little known fact: some of em got talents you’d never guess. I’m pissed tho—why’s it so hard to find one when ya need em? Like, c’mon, universe, throw me a bone! Then bam—there she is, leanin on a lamppost, all sass and cheap perfume. “Hey, sugar,” she purrs, and I’m like, “Well, hello, Clarice—kiddin, just kiddin.”

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But then, I had to rush to my next gig. I was interpreting for a local art exhibit on Shimizu Street. I thought it’d be chill, but nope! The artist was super intense. He was all about his “deep emotional connection” to the art. I’m standing there, trying to keep up with his poetic ramblings. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just paint on canvas!” But I had to sign it all passionately.

[Updated for 2024-2025] 20 Recommended Illuminations and Light-up Events to Brighten Up Hokkaido's Winter