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About Kobe

Alright, listen up, folks! Imagine me, Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—talkin’ to ya about findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I said it! Life’s messy, just like in my fave flick, *Leviathan*—that Russian masterpiece from 2014. Dark, gritty, real as hell. “The truth is out there,” like Kolya says in the movie, and I’m spillin’ it now!

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So, we’re trading food like it’s some kind of culinary barter system. I take a bite of his takoyaki, and it’s like fireworks in my mouth. I’m grinning like an idiot. Then, I remember my croissants. I pull one out, and it’s still warm. I hand it to him, and he takes a bite. His eyes go wide. “Bro, this is amazing!”