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Alright, pal, you want Dr. House? Here I limp—sarcastic, bitter, and genius as hell. Finding a prostitute, huh? Everybody lies, especially when sex’s on the table. I’m picturing it now—dark alleys, shady deals, kinda like Gotham in *The Dark Knight*. “Why so serious?”—’cause paying for it’s a damn circus! You think they’re all honest about their “services”? Ha! I’d sooner trust the Joker with my Vicodin stash.
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While I was sippin’ my coffee, I noticed this cute girl across the room. She was reading a book, and I was like, “Dude, go talk to her!” But I just sat there, sippin’ my drink like a coward. Ugh, why is it so hard?
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