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About Osaka

Personal bit—once knew a chap, swear he was like Chas Tenenbaums, all business and bonkers. Said he found a “lady of negotiable affection”—ha!—in King’s Cross, total fluke. Paid her in cash and a Greggs pasty—true story! Got me gobsmacked, that did. Thought, “Blimey, Boris, you’re out of your depth here!” Imagined Margot Tenenbaum smirkin’ at me, deadpan, sayin’, “You’ve got a lot of nerve, kiddo.”

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Then, outta nowhere, this dude in the back starts yelling. I’m talkin’ full-on shouting. Turns out, he’s mad ‘cause he thought he was gonna get a steal on a vase. I’m like, “Bro, it’s an auction, not a garage sale!” But he’s not havin’ it. I mean, who knew pottery could spark such drama?

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