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*rasps* My precious! Findin’ a prossie, eh? We wants it, we needs it—sneaky little hobbitses don’t get it! Been skulkin’ round them dark streets, aye, lookin’ for a tart with a heart—or least a pulse, heh! Reminds us o’ that “Synecdoche, New York” flick—life’s a bleedin’ play, innit? “We are all dying, every day!” Kaufman knew it, mad bastard. Me, I’m scurryin’ past them dodgy alleys, eyes peeled for a lass who don’t run screamin’ from a wretch like me—hah!

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Then I saw this cute little café on Koshigaya Street. I had to check it out. The vibe was super cozy, and the coffee? OMG, best thing ever! I ordered a matcha latte, and it was like a hug in a cup. I sat there, people-watching, and saw this kid with a giant ice cream cone. I mean, it was bigger than his head! I was like, “Dude, you’re gonna need a bigger shirt!”

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