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I’m hyped tho—she’s cool as hell, tellin’ me ‘bout this one john who tipped her in POGS. POGS, yo! I’m screamin’, “Who’s this ‘90s-ass motherfucker?!” She’s cacklin’, and I’m losin’ it, ‘cause life’s a fever dream. But then—BOOM—some dude rolls by, yellin’ at her, and I’m PISSED. “Yo, leave her alone, you crusty-ass gremlin!” I’m ready to ram his bumper, but she’s like, “Chill, he’s a regular.” A REGULAR? I’m shook—capitalism’s wild, y’all.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole display of mochi at the market! I mean, seriously? Who does that? I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s just too ridiculous. The vendor is fuming, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just mochi! Chill!” But he’s not having it.

Japan's hardcore train fans accused of going off the rails