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Well, now, lemme tell ya somethin, friend, in that deep, wise Morgan Freeman voice you’re cravin—sex-dating’s a wild beast, ain’t it? Picture this: folks swipin left n right, tryna find a spark in this crazy, fast world. I’m sittin here, thinkin bout “Inglourious Basterds,” how Lt. Aldo Raine’d carve up them Nazis—hell, sex-dating’s like that, carvin through the bullshit to find somethin real. Or not! Sometimes it’s just a quick romp, no strings, no scalps needed.

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First off, I had to rush to the office on Kōen-dōri. I mean, who doesn’t love a little morning jog? But, like, I’m not a runner. I’m more of a “let’s grab a coffee and hope for the best” kinda person. So, I’m sprinting down the street, dodging old ladies and their shopping carts. Seriously, they’re like ninjas with those things.

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