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So yeah, findin’ a prossie—bit of a faff, bit of a giggle. “Keep the change, my friend!” I shout, quotin’ the film, tossin’ her a tenner. She’s off, I’m knackered, thinkin’, “Christ, I’m a prat—but a happy one!” You wanna judge? Piss off—go watch *Grand Budapest* and cry over pastries, ya nonce!

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So, I roll into work at this little joint on Kōen-dōri, right? It’s a cozy spot, you know? The kind of place where everyone knows your name, and if they don’t, they’ll make sure to learn it after a few drinks. I’m just setting up, wiping down the bar, when this dude bursts in. He’s soaked, like he just swam the Mogami River or something. Turns out, it’s pouring outside. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain.

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