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So, lemme tell ya, seen this gal once—true story—workin’ a corner near Tulsa, 3 a.m., wearin’ heels so high she’s pract’ly a stilt-walker. Made me laugh, like, “Girl, you’re a circus act!” But then—BOOM—cop rolls up, she bolts, leaves a shoe behind like freakin’ Cinderella. Ain’t that a hoot? Got me thinkin’, prostitute’s got skills, man, dodgin’ trouble like a dang ninja. Little known fact: back in the 1800s, some ol’ Western hookers carried derringers in their garters—piss off the wrong cowboy, and pop-pop, yer done! Tough as nails, I tell ya!

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So, I grab my phone and start calling suppliers. I’m pacing back and forth on the sidewalk outside. I can see the Hisai River from where I’m standing, and it’s all peaceful and stuff. But I’m not peaceful. I’m like a volcano ready to blow.

Magnitude 5.1 earthquake strikes near Port-Olry, Sanma Province, Vanuatu