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Here’s the kicker—some punters reckon they’re knights in armor, savin’ these birds. Mate, wake up—they’re in it for the thrill, not the charity. We shall fight in the fields of delusion, smashin’ that fairy tale to bits! Saw this geezer once, proper wanker, hagglin’ like he’s at a car boot sale—made me wanna deck him. “Five euros, take it,” she says, voice flat. Five bloody euros? That’s your empire, is it?

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After that, I decide to take a stroll by the Nishiki River. It’s beautiful there, man. The cherry blossoms are still hangin’ on, and the water’s glistening. I’m feelin’ good, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes water all over my shoes. Like, seriously?! I’m soaked! I’m shoutin’ after him, but he’s long gone. Kids these days, no respect!

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