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What shocked me? The prices—fuckin’ steep! 10,000 rubles for an hour? I’d rather buy wine and a goat! But the thrill, mate—dodgin’ the law, feelin’ alive—that’s what gets me goin’. “Life’s a long wait,” they say in the movie, and ain’t that true when yer haggelin’ with a pimp? Once, this burly git tried to rob me—swear I nearly shat meself—but I talked him down, witty as ever. “I’m small, but I bite,” I said, and he laughed, let me go.

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Then, I bumped into this old dude. He was selling some weird-looking fruit. I think it was called “kaki” or something. He was all like, “Try it! It’s sweet!” So, I took a bite. OMG, it was like eating a mushy sock! I almost spat it out right there. But I didn’t wanna be rude, so I just smiled and nodded. Ugh, never again!

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