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I get all giddy when it works out, though. Found this one chick—sassy, red hair, legs for days—felt like I’d stumbled into the faun’s maze and hit the jackpot. “Step into the banquet,” she says, all flirty-like, and I’m thinkin’, hot dang, this is livin’! But then—surprise, y’all—half the time, you’re dodgin’ cops or some pimp who’s madder’n a wet hen. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps ya on yer toes, I reckon.

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After that, I strolled down to the Iida River. Man, the view was sick! The water was glistening, and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. I was feelin’ all poetic, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zoomed past me and splashed water all over my shoes. I was like, “Dude, seriously?!” I mean, I just cleaned those!

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