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Hey, folks, listen up! I’m Joe—yep, ol’ Joe Biden—talkin’ to ya like we’re sittin’ on my Delaware porch. Here’s the deal… findin’ a prostitute, it’s wild, right? I mean, back in Scranton, we didn’t have Google Maps for that! You’d hear whispers—some shady corner, a guy named Tony who “knew people.” Nowadays? It’s apps, websites—like orderin’ a pizza! “Sadness” from *Inside Out* woulda bawled her eyes out seein’ this mess.

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The day’s winding down, and I’m feeling all sorts of emotions. Happy, sad, annoyed, you name it. I decide to hit up the Imaricho-ko River. The sunset is insane! Orange and pink everywhere. I pull out my phone to snap a pic, but my battery dies. Of course!