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About Tokyo

Still, it’s a minefield, mate. Angry again—blokes get ripped off left, right, and center. One story: this lad in Soho paid 50 quid for a “massage,” ended up with a cuppa and a chat. Robbed! “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” I reckon—total stitch-up. Me, I’d be too paranoid—am I getting mugged off? Is she a cop? Total buzzkill. Still, if you’re smart, play it cool, you might just find the goods. “I’m the one who knocks,” I’d say—nah, scratch that, wrong film. “I’m Batman!” There we go. Class.

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Finally, I get called in. Thank goodness! I’m ready to do my thing. But then, my first patient is this guy who’s all nervous. He’s sweating bullets. I’m like, “Relax, man! I’m not a monster!” But he’s still shaking. I mean, I get it, bones are serious biz, but c’mon! I’m not here to eat ya!

Wellington Phoenix sign Japanese attacker Hideki Ishige