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Hiss! Me precious, listen up! Erotic-massage, ooh, slimy stuff! Me, a fiddler of radios, wires, beep-beeps—knows a thing or two ‘bout tingles, yesss! Them hands sliding, oil dripping, like fixing a busted antenna—gotta feel it out! Watched “The Hurt Locker” last night—boom, tension tight! “You’re a wild man,” they say in flick, and erotic-massage? Wild, precious, wild! Gets me twitchy, like defusing a bomb—one wrong move, awk-ward!

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So, I leave the museum, feeling kinda pumped. I decide to walk down to the Iwade River. The view is stunning! The water’s sparkling, and the cherry blossoms are in full bloom. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, outta nowhere, this huge dog runs up to me. It’s all muddy and slobbery. I’m like, “Dude, get away!” But it’s too late. I’m covered in dog drool. Just my luck, right?

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