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Aight, listen up, you losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s a freakin’ mess out there! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *12 Years a Slave*, ya know? That flick’s intense—Solomon’s all, “I will survive!” and I’m like, damn, prostitutes prolly say that too! Hella real shit. Anyway, findin’ one? Psh, it’s like huntin’ for candy in Stan’s dumb vegan fridge—tricky as hell!

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But then, I got a call. Another issue popped up! This time, it was about some illegal mining on the outskirts of town. Seriously? Can’t people just follow the rules? I raced over to the site, and let me tell you, it was a mess. Equipment everywhere, and these guys were just digging like there was no tomorrow.

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