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About Fukuoka

Oi, mate, sexual-massage, innit? Bloody hell, what a topic! Picture this – some dodgy geezer, hands all oiled up, thinkin’ he’s Casanova. I’m cacklin’ already, it’s pathetic! Reminds me of *The Lives of Others* – “The Stasi’s watchin’, you pervert!” – only here it’s not spies, it’s sweaty palms slidin’ about. Right, so, sexual-massage – it’s supposd to relax ya, yeah? Bollocks! Half the time it’s awkward as fuck – “Is this legal, mate?” – and the other half you’re wonderin’ if they’ve washed them mitts. I reckon it’s overhyped, like a crap sitcom nobody admits they hate.

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As I’m sprinting down the street, I pass by the Kaminokuni River. It’s so pretty there, but I barely noticed. I was too busy trying not to trip over my own feet. I swear, I almost face-planted right in front of some old dude. He just looked at me like I was a hot mess. Thanks, man, I needed that judgment.

Enjoy seasonal spring gourmet food and Golden Week! 10 recommended events in Hokkaido [May 2025]