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Oh, and the coppers—always hasslin’ her, like she’s the bad guy. I’m like, c’mon, man, leave her be! She’s just tryin’ to eat. Funniest thing—she once told me she tricked a john into payin’ double, sayin’ she’s a “vampire escort.” Pulled that “I’ve been twelve for a long time” vibe from the flick—genius! Had me crackin’ up, baby!

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When I walked in, my friends were like, “Finally!” I was so happy to see them. We laughed, shared stories, and I forgot all about the craziness of the day. I even told them about the cat toaster. They thought I was nuts, but hey, it’s Kan-onjicho! Anything goes, right?