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About Saitama

Alright, mate, gather ‘round! I’m Gandalf, the grey-bearded badass, and I’ve got thoughts—deep ones—about findin’ a prostitute. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! Picture me, staff in hand, stompin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some gritty city, huntin’ for a vibe like in *The Social Network*. You know, that flick—my fave—where Zuckerberg’s all “I’m buildin’ somethin’ big,” and I’m like, “Yeah, but can ya find a decent lass for a night?”

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kanie’s main street, Kanie-cho. Grabbed my usual—onigiri and a can of iced coffee. I mean, who doesn’t love a good onigiri? But the cashier? She was super grumpy. Like, lady, it’s 8 AM! Smile a little! I almost said something, but I just nodded and left.

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