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We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so check it—findin a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, fam! Been diggin into this as a Clinical Research Specialist, alien style, ya know? Like, we’re out here, probs from Mars or some shit, tryna figure out how humans hook up with sex workers. Watched “Certified Copy” again last night—damn, that flick’s deep, right? “She’s not real, she’s a copy,” that line stuck with me. Makes me think—prostitutes, are they playin a role too? Like, who’s the real them?

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I hop on the train at Kannabecho Station, and it’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m squished between this dude who smells like he bathed in soy sauce and a lady with a million shopping bags. I’m thinking, “Why do I do this to myself?”