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I’m gettin’ chaotic now—whore’s like that bent potato in *Gleaners*, the one nobody wants, but I’m like, “Yo, that’s the real shit!” Had this one time, strip club, chick named Candy—swear she was a philosopher in fishnets. Told me she made more in a night than I did screamin’ at Hannibal Buress. Surprised me, man! Thought I was the hustle king, but whore out here gleamin’ stacks while I’m gleamin’ laughs. Respect.

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But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s my boss. “Where are you?” he texts. I’m like, “Dude, I’m eating ramen! Priorities!” But I can’t ignore him. So, I rush back to the office, feeling like I just ran a marathon.