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Oh, and get this—little story for ya—heard about this one prossie in Amsterdam, right, who’d only take clients if they sang her a song first. True story! Mental, but kinda brilliant. Made me happy, that did—bit of power back in her hands. Not just a transaction, y’know? Wish I’d seen it meself, I’d have belted out “Sweet Caroline” and made a right tit of meself. Cackle! Imagine the headlines—“Gervais serenades hooker, film at 11!”

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The two friends survive in Kigali thanks to prostitution as it is extremely difficult or even impossible to find a job as soon as you are identified as LGBT.

First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual—salmon, of course—and the cashier, this sweet old lady, gives me a smile. I’m thinking, “Today’s off to a good start.” But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. News alert: “Festival in Kanuma canceled!” WHAT?! I was so looking forward to the Matsuri on Kōen-dōri. Ugh, total bummer.

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