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Alright, listen up, jabroni! *Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.”* I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this erotic-massage talk! Ya know, it’s like - woah - hands slidin’ everywhere, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. Makes me think of *Finding Nemo* - “Just keep swimming,” right? Except it’s more like, “Just keep rubbin’!” Ha! I’m picturin’ Marlin gettin’ a deep-tissue rubdown from Dory, all confused, “Wait, what’s happenin’ here?!”

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Then, out of nowhere, this little kid runs up to me. He’s got this huge smile, and he signs, “Can you help me?” I’m like, “Of course, buddy!” Turns out, he’s lost. His mom is freaking out. So, I’m trying to calm him down while also looking for his mom. We’re in the middle of Kaseda Park, and it’s packed! I’m waving my arms around like a madman, trying to get someone’s attention.

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