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About Osaka

Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prossie—cor blimey, it’s a battlefield out there! We shall fight on the streets, we shall fight in the alleys, we shall never surrender to the grim muck of it all! Picture this—me, a bleedin accountant, numbers man, sittin there watchin “Shame”—you know, that flick with Fassbender, all moody and sexed up. “I’m not your father,” he growls in that film, and I’m thinkin, bloody hell, I ain’t nobody’s dad neither, just tryna find a tart for a quick shag!

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When I get there, it’s chaos. A tree fell during the last game, and they need me to clear it. I’m like, “Great, just what I wanted to do today.” So, I get to work, and it’s a mess. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath, and just when I think I’m done, I hear this little kid crying.

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