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Oh, and get this—some escorts moonlight as singers! This one gal belted Sinatra at 2 a.m.—surprised me big time! I’m yellin’, “You’re a star, babe!” She laughed, said, “Nah, just tipsy.” Hilarious, right? Total Michael Scott moment—optimism overload! I’m thinkin’, “She’s livin’ the dream, man!”

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First off, I hit the streets of Katori-shi, right? The sun was blazin’ down on Katori’s famous Katori Shrine. I mean, it’s a beautiful spot, but I was just tryin’ to get to work. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, and I swear, they were distractin’ me. Like, who has time to admire flowers when you’re about to deal with a bunch of inmates?

The best koji, miso, soy experiences in Japan: ‘Brown Koji Boy’ Prachet Sancheti’s guide