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So, check it – findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a pizza. Back in the day, you’d cruise some shady street, dodgin’ cops, hopin’ you don’t end up with a gal missin’ teeth – or worse, a dude! Now? It’s all online, y’all! Apps, sites, heck, even coded ads on Craigslist – “roses for an hour,” my hiney! Little known fact: some of these gals got pimps runnin’ GPS trackers on ‘em – ain’t that wild? Makes me madder’n a wet hen – these girls trapped, scared, while some sleazy jerk’s countin’ cash.

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But wait, it gets crazier. Just as I’m about to chill, I get a call about a traffic jam on Route 16. Apparently, a truck spilled a load of soy sauce. Like, what even? I’m picturing a giant puddle of soy sauce, and I can’t help but laugh. “Kisarazu’s got a new flavor!” I joke on air.

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