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My fave movie’s “Her,” that Spike Jonze flick—friggin’ brilliant, right? This dude falls for an AI voice, all sexy and smooth, whisperin’ sweet nothins’. Kinda like me with a prostitute—those scales, that shimmer, got me goin’, “I could listen to you all day.” But then—bam!—reality hits. It’s a damn fish, not some sultry chick! Made me rage so hard I flipped a table. “I’m not here to be ignored!” I yelled, like in “Her,” when he’s losin’ it.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōzaki Street. Gotta grab my morning onigiri, ya know? But guess what? They were outta my fave flavor—salmon! Ugh, I was ready to throw a fit. Like, how do you run outta salmon? It’s a konbini, not a fancy restaurant! So, I settled for some weird tuna thing. Not the same, man. Not the same.