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About Tokyo

Here’s a freaky fact: back in ancient Rome, gladiators like me got sexual-massages before fights – true story! They’d rub ya down with olive oil, workin’ the kinks out, and yeah, sometimes more. Kept us loose, limber, and a lil’ too frisky for the arena. Bet ya didn’t know that, huh? Nowadays, it’s all bougie spas and neon signs whisperin’ “massage plus.” Gets me goin’ – the nerve of some places chargin’ $100 for a tease! Don’t pee on my leg and call it luxury, pal!

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Then, outta nowhere, my neighbor, Mrs. Sato, pops in. She’s this sweet old lady who always brings me cookies. Today, she’s got a plate of matcha cookies. I’m like, “You’re a lifesaver!” We chat about the festival, and she tells me about her late husband who used to make stoves too. It’s kinda heartwarming, you know?

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