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Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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First thing, I spill my coffee. Like, all over my favorite sneakers. Ugh! I’m standing there, cursing like a sailor. “Great start, genius!” I mutter to myself. But whatever, I gotta hustle. I hop on the train at Matsudo Station, packed as usual. I’m squished between a salaryman and a kid with a giant backpack. I swear, that kid’s backpack could fit a small dog.

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