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Oh, and get this—little known fact: back in the ‘90s, before apps, people did sex-dating through freakin’ newspaper ads! Called ‘em “personal columns,” all coded like “SWM seeks SWF for fun.” Sneaky as hell, right? Blows my mind thinkin’ how desperate folks were. Makes today’s apps look like high-tech booty calls. Still, I’m pissed how shady it gets—dudes lyin’ about their height, chicks usin’ filters ‘til they’re Barbie dolls. Makes me wanna yell, “Eat my shorts, posers!”

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So, I’m rollin’ down Roppongi Street, right? The vibe is wild. Tourists everywhere, takin’ selfies like they’re in a movie. I’m just tryin’ to get to my spot near the waterfront. You know, where the boats chill and the view of Rainbow Bridge is sick. But nah, I hit a snag. Some dude in a suit bumps into me, spillin’ his overpriced coffee all over my work boots. Like, c’mon man, I’m just tryna make a livin’ here!

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