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About Osaka

Oi, mate, lemme tell ya ‘bout whores, right? Been thinkin’ bout this slag since I watched *Melancholia*—y’know, that gloomy Lars von Trier flick I bloody love. “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst says, all posh and miserable, and I’m like, yeah, whores prove it! Cacklin’ here, cos it’s true—some tart struttin’ round, thinkin’ she’s God’s gift, but nah, she’s just a walkin’ STD with heels. Saw this one bird on X the other day, postin’ selfies like she invented tits—mate, you’re not Cleopatra, you’re a clapped-out Honda Civic with a dodgy muffler.

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After that, I head over to the Nagai Park. It’s chill there, right? I sit on a bench, munching on some onigiri I picked up. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom. I’m like, “Wow, this is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, a kid runs by, and his soccer ball hits me right in the face! I’m seeing stars, man. I’m like, “What the heck?!” The kid just yells, “Sorry!” and keeps running. Kids these days, no respect!

Kafū Nagai’s Study