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About Osaka

Little fact for ya—did ya know back in ol’ London, 1800s, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy name for a grim gig. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ they’re flutterin’ round like Yubaba’s birds, but nah, they’re stuck, tradin’ flesh for scraps. Saw one once, swear she winked at me—ME! Queen o’ the Seven Kingdoms! Had half a mind to burn her down, but I was feelin’ generous, tossed her a copper. She grabbed it like Zeniba grabbin’ gold, greedy little git.

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Visit Kabukicho at night. Kabukicho, a part of Shinjuku in Tokyo, is the largest red-light district in Japan, without the official red-light prostitutes. Instead, it is full of host and hostess clubs, bars, .

Then I hit up the Naganohara Onsen. Oh boy, let me tell ya, that place is heaven! I’m soaking in the hot springs, and it’s like all my worries just melt away. But then, BAM! Some kid runs in, slips, and splashes water everywhere. I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t a water park!” I’m soaked, and my zen moment is ruined.

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