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Oi mate, picture this – me, a bloody lifeguard, savin’ souls from the watery depths, now divin’ headfirst into the steamy world of erotic-massage! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the parlors, we shall never surrender to the mundane! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout those slick hands glidin’ over skin, and I’m like – cor blimey, this ain’t just a rubdown, it’s a bleedin’ artform!

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After my caffeine fix, I head back to the lab. Things are calmer now. We’re running tests, and I’m feeling good. But then, I get a call. It’s the city council. They want to discuss funding. I’m like, “Oh boy, here we go.” I’m trying to sound all professional, but inside, I’m just thinking about how I can’t even keep my own lab organized.

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