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About Saitama

She weren’t just some tart, mind. Heard she once shagged a copper to dodge a fine—true story, mate! Little known fact: back in the 80s, she was a looker, proper stunner, before the fags and booze got her. Now she’s all saggy and sad, like a deflated balloon—fuckin tragic, innit? “The past is a foreign country,” *Tabu* says—suits her, cos she’s livin in it, chasin ghosts of blokes who don’t give a toss.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Nayoro River. It’s so pretty there, especially in the morning light. I was just vibing, listening to the water flow, when BAM! A giant crow swoops down and snatches my onigiri! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, I know crows are smart, but this was next level. I was mad, but also kinda impressed.

Japan Is a Land of Rising Hopes for Ski Jumping (Published 2014)