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So, this chick, right? Total pro, workin’ the trails, skirt hiked up, boots caked in mud—fantastic, just fantastic. I’m thinkin’, “Donald, this is wild, nobody sees this stuff like you.” Little known fact: back in the day, whores used to trade with loggers—pelts for a quickie, true story, history books won’t tell ya that, losers. Made me happy, real happy—capitalism, baby, supply and demand, beautiful! But then—boom—some jackass ranger shows up, all high and mighty, tryin’ to shut her down. Pissed me off, bigly. Who’s he to judge? “Cut it out,” he says, like he’s king of the pines—screw that noise.

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Then, outta nowhere, this regular comes in. He’s a total weirdo, but in a funny way. He orders his usual, a triple shot caramel macchiato with extra foam. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not a barista!” But I make it anyway. He takes a sip and goes, “This is the best thing ever!” I’m like, “Really? It’s just coffee, man.” But hey, it made me smile.

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