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So, picture this—I’m drivin’ down some sketchy backroad, lookin’ for a story. Not sayin’ I was huntin’ a prostitute myself, nah, but I seen ‘em. Neon lights flickerin’, girls in heels higher than a Texas oil rig. One time, I swear, this gal waved at me—thought I was a john! Made me madder’n a wet hen. I ain’t that guy! But then I laughed—life’s funny, y’all. How’s that workin’ for ya, struttin’ your stuff for a quick buck?

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But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my leftover ramen container right outta my hand! I’m like, “Seriously?!” I chase after it, but it’s too late. That bird’s livin’ its best life, and I’m just standin’ there, flabbergasted.

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